The Power of a Man’s Story

Every man I meet has a story, created from the sweat and tears, sorrows and joys, ups and downs that have occupied his moments, infiltrated his hours and hijacked his days. I’ve noticed that some men seem to wear their story in their face, as if events and circumstances experienced leave their marks. But certainly all men have invisible marks, etched inside the heart and soul that make him unique. Make him brilliantly one of a kind. Whether he knows it or not. So often he doesn’t.

I now believe that a man’s story takes shape from a thousand building blocks. Ordered and structured out of a thousand choices. Creating one path out of a thousand trails he could have selected. In each story, a man has aimed somewhere. He has chosen a way ahead for himself. He may or may not know that.

Knowing your story – who you’ve come to be at this moment in time – lets you answer the deep question, “Who am I?” Some questions are more important than others. This one ranks high.

I wish my dad had taught me the brilliance of story. How to think of my story. How a man comes into the truth of his existence – able to say, “This is what I stand for and this is what I’ll fight for.” Perhaps to the death.

Your story, my story, means so much. It leaks out of the inner well of values we hold. It provides the basis for each decision we make. It allows us to take stock of where we are in life and where we want to be.

I would encourage you to look long in the mirror and ask yourself some key questions. Ones that could be life changing!

“Do I really know myself, what I stand for and what drives me?”

 “Can I name my deepest values?” “Am I living these out in all areas of my life – in all the roles I play in life?”

“What principles are so important to me that to live without them, or to ignore them, a significant piece of me would die inside?”

 “Am I the conscious author of the life I’m living, or do I live unconsciously, as if life just happens to me without my knowledge or choice in the matter?”

“What could I be doing to identify the steps ahead and begin charting a course for myself that I’m proud of, that I truly want and that reflects my deepest concerns and desires?”

Know this much – that you have the choice to define the story ahead – your story. You get to shape it with your own courage, with the grit that comes from your heart and spirit. Yet you must believe you can. Begin now, as never before, to live out what you value most, what you want in life that really matters and how you want to make a difference in the journey ahead. Your journey.

Picture of Doug

About Doug and Leslie Gustafson, MFT's

As writers, speakers, therapists and coaches, our mission centers on working with men, women and couples who want a more fulfilling life by living out their true vision and passion. We have written the book Amazing Intimacy - Create A Spectacular Marriage In and Out of the Bedroom as a how to guide for love, sex and passion. Ultimately, we all have an incredible potential we have only partially discovered and fulfilled. This brief journey in life gives us the opportunity to realize and pursue this exciting potential.
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